Noisy packets

At this point the Fairy was playing his instrument with such ferocity that his strings sounded like vast percussive strum-bangs of bass, building more and more layers of fast fingered rhythmic cycles on top of his growling drone. But suddenly, with one last roar of a shimmering bass string, he released his fingers from his fret board, a twinkly rumble of melody sustaining off into the background silence.

It was as the music faded that everyone one at the Lionbiter’s Arms started to feel that they had arms and legs again. Up to that point the Fairy’s music had made them leave their body’s behind and dive into an heady ocean of imagination, images of bizarre Wizard battles filling their event horizons from end to end. Now, with the ending of the music, they were all left rather dazed and disorientated, like orchestra without a conductor.

After the last of the music has subsided, the Fairy popped out of the painting he’d been playing inside and landed on the Master’s bar, strutting the length back in forth in another cat walk. 

‘See, there you go, Petal chip!’ He declared without a care in the world. ‘There is no future for any of you! This time of gloom will soon becoming to a brilliantly light hearted end! These Wizards have the Sosighcitys joystruction in their target and GlenofD’Raaah is to be their training dummy! So now I suggest we all just party till the end of this time and welcome in this new era of eternal celebration with open arms and total and utter ecstasy! This could be the first house of joviality! Let’s start the dance right now! I will be you DJ!!!’

The Master, meanwhile, was finally starting to get some feeling back in his fists and before the Fairy could start up something funky with his instrument, he lunged with a Empty pint glass, ready to cup the pixie hard against the bar top. As ever though, the Fairy was always faster. Seconds later the Master was silently howling in disgust as he felt the indents two tiny feet now pressing into his top of his cranium. 

‘Oh petal chip!’ The Fairy’s words sounded as if it were reverberating through his skull. 

The Master gawked upwards to find a dinky Fairy face looming over his forehead, staring at his mug upside down. 

‘Oh look! From this way up, you look like you’re smiling. Maybe my Waahail has strummed your heart strings somehow!’

In an act of absolute desperation the Masters four fists now all convened like cannonballs on the Fairy’s position which was only ever end up with him giving  himself a four way punch. Lost in a daze for only a moment he began to tumble over like a falling tree, before leaping back to his feet determined not to be not be made a fool of again. He now lurched left and right desperate to find the Fairy again. This time it would be final, he didn’t care what it took. He followed the eyes of everyone else in the bar. Most of them were tentatively watching the little man in his new position, presently perched above the back door of the bar. 

‘I know what you’d like to do me right now!’ He purred, swinging his hips from side. ‘Give me a little run around in your lovely back garden-slash-maze! Well let’s go for it then! Let’s see if you track me down! They say exercise has a very positive impact on the ones mood and I intend to work you out to the mood bone, baby!’ 

The Fairy now played a really deep note on his instrument and this caused the door to dissolve into a thousand little Fairies who scurried away singing and dancing with joy. Without the door, there was a  badly needed fresh breeze coming into this stagnant basement, tickling everyone hairstyles with its midnight chill. There was also now a clear view out into the night. 

The rear exit of the bar lead out onto the back the great lion head’s mane where a series of steps lead spiralled downwards between beer kegs and rusty chains. Beyond this, a grand tangle of shadowy passageways did what a walled maze should, look every bit as foreboding and puzzling to any pair of eyes wishing to plot a smooth path through it. 

The Fairy now stood on a beer keg pointing his feet towards this labyrinth.

‘Of course!‘ The Fairy declared, ‘Did I mention that your family maze used to be a Fairy city and guess what, your ancestors used to be great pals with my ancestors! You actually used to find us useful! When we’re down in the maze playing hide and seek I can play you a Fairy Waahail all about it!’ 

As if the Fairy had said too of the most insulting things he could muster, the Master launched himself like a raging bull down the steps after him.

‘I’d like that!’ His voice thundered about the yard. ‘Maybe I’ll grant it as a last request! Come here you twat!’ 

As his voice merged with the street sounds outside he left the three MOUTH teenagers unserved at the bar feeling a strange mixture of emotions. Without the Master in the room one could almost feel the tension ease in the walls. But, as their heart rates all returned to normal the Tower of a Girl wanted to express her sentiments.

‘What the twat was all that about!’

The business MOUTH sitting by the bar looked up from his scroll and lowered his spectacles trying to give the teens some solace.

‘That’s the ole Airy Fairy magic doing its thing. You cant argue with the strange thinking of a Fairy. They don’t see life like we do. They don’t even see life as life to be honest. They see everything a bit different….but how they love to play with our heart strings that’s for sure!

‘What’s that supposed to mean, old man?’ The Tower of a Girl snapped, ‘You sound like you actually enjoyed that!’

‘Yeah,’ The Boisterous Alpha added, ‘clearly you have a Fairy for a brain!’

‘Well I suppose you could say I have a healthy respect for the forces in our Sosighcity that lurk beyond our control and comprehension.’

‘Speak for yourself!’ The Boisterous Alpha smirked, ‘I once caught a Fairy stealing socks from my wardrobe. I stuffed the little prat in a sock and took it to school! How’s that for taking control!?’

‘Yet I bet it enjoyed every moment of your power trip, knowing one day it would have the last laugh. I’m sure you’re aware that when a body gives up its ghost the Fairies take it and wrap it up in a death jacket shaped like a boat and it gets floated on the waters of Death Sucks lagoon out into the great wide whirlpool of no return!’

‘Yeah that happened to my grandfather.’ The Quieter of the Crew stuttered. ‘We had to drop everything and take the train to that Death Sucks Lagoon. Do all the funeral, mourning nonsense and fighting with the in-laws over the inheritance!  My dad says when his time comes he wont be going in no death jackboat!’

‘And I don’t see how he thinks he has a choice in the matter?’ The Business MOUTH mused, ‘How’s your old man going to stop them embalming him, lie dead on the ground looking all grim? You know, we all may as well die with a smile on our faces when the time comes! Maybe even sing a song with our last breath – Fairy, Fairy take me home like the Fairy mid mothers brought me into the world with a a song and dance and Yea yahh! Doo dah!’

‘Shut up, you suck!’ The Tower of a Girl moaned while the other two growled. ‘Anyway, We never got our crisps off that Master twat after all that!’ She snorted. ‘Damn Fairy took centre stage! Little runt!’

There came a rustling of greasy foil bags. The Tower of a Girl and the Quieter of Crew  gasped to find the Boisterous Alpha reaching in over the bar and pulling three bags of dragon-roasted crisps out of a dented cardboard box behind the counter.

‘Well’ The Boisterous Alpha declared as he doled out his loot. ‘I think I’m going die with load of crisps down my gob! The Fairy’s can do whatever they want with my body after that!’

They all now hastily ripped the bags open with cheeky glee in their expressions munching loudly on the contents.

‘HMPH, HMPH HMPH!’ Came a floor shuddering clearing of throat causing them to all simultaneously choke on the crunchy dust.

With much horror they looked at the back door to find the Master baring down on them with cold certainty in his bitter grin. Seems his senses were sharper then a blackthorn bush. 

‘Well well!’ He said very slowly, waving at them to follow with all four fists. ‘Guess it’s going to be extra busy in the maze tonight!”